When your best friend acts like your worst enemy
What you want:
A friend who’s proud to be with you.
What you get:
A friend who ignores you in front of other people.
What you want:
A friend who overlooks you flaws or at least forgives you for them.
What you get:
A friend who cuts you down.
What you want:
A friend who’s really happy for you when you get a boyfriend.
What you get:
A friend who tries to steal your guy or turn you against him.
What you want:
A friend who really listens when you have a problem.
What you get:
A friend who doesn’t take your problems seriously.
So you say you want things to work out between you and your mean friend. But where do you start?
• First, you need to make sure that you’ve clarified exactly what your friend did that hurt your feelings.
• You also need to be open-minded and consider the problem from her perspective.
• Once you’ve done that, you’re ready to approach your friend.
• Caution: Don’t talk with your friend when you’re still fuming from the hurtful incident
• Explain to your friend how her behavior affects you.
• Be direct, but don’t attack your friend or blame her for your feelings.
• Let her explain what she feels was going on.
• Give her the benefit of the doubt: Your friend may not have been aware that she was hurting you.
• Explain to your friend what you expect of her behavior, and see if she’s willing to meet you at least halfway.
• Hopefully, your friend will be able to express her feelings sincerely, and the two of you can reach an understanding.
How do you know when it’s time to let go of a mean friend?
• If you’ve explained to your friend exactly what is hurtful about her behavior, and the behavior continues. If s clear that she has no intentions of taking your feelings into consideration.
• Your friend puts you down rather than listening to you and acknowledging your feelings. For example, she says that there’s something wrong with you for feeling that way. Or she says that you’re just being defensive.
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