Teaching Self-Control
Although the goal of disciplining school-age children is to prevent them from misbehaving, discipline also helps them develop the tools they’ll need to succeed in life: appropriate social skills, wise decision making and responsible behavior. Children this age can learn to evaluate their own behavior before they plunge ahead. Parents can help kids develop self-control so that their actions will be guided by the desire to do what’s right.
BE ON YOUR OWN BEST BEHAVIOR
A school-age child is searching for standards of what’s normal and acceptable. Home is the first “society” he has to behave in, so what you as a parent take seriously, your child will take seriously. If sensitivity, politeness, empathy and responsible behavior have been standard operating procedure in your home, these become his norms.
GIVE YOUR CHILD CHANCES TO CHOOSE
To help her think through what she’s about to do rather than act impulsively, provide opportunities to practice: With your supervision, let her plan her after-school activities or choose her clothes when you shop.
TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT CONSEQUENCES
The results of a child’s actions sup ply a powerful lesson. A parent may want to help a consequence along. For instance, 8-year- old Erin loved her bike, but often she’d leave it out overnight. Then the bike found its way into the rafters of the garage, and for a while Erin couldn’t ride it. It was a power ful reminder to take care of her bike, which \ slept safely in the garage thereafter.
MOTIVATE, MOTIVATE, MOTIVATE
Children are likely to continue a behavior that brings a reward. Verbal incentives work well: “First one in bed picks the story!” or “Finish your homework, and we’ll play a game.” Prompt, specific praise is also a wonderful motivator: “Thank you for being so patient at the store.” Expressing your pride in him will help reinforce your child’s desire to please you and society.
by Dr. Sears
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