I am so in love with him
You are so in love with him that you can’t eat, sleep or think straight. Well, you dont’t have to let a crush ruin your life. Here is how to overcome your obsession.
A crush can become so overwhelming that it feels more like love than love really does. The power of your imagination can be so strong that it gets totally out of hand - you find yourself thinking about this guy 24 hours a day, and nothing can get your mind off him. Having an obsessive crush is like going on a roller-coaster, you don’t know where you’re going, and you can’t make it stop. One second you’re completely high, and the next moment you’re more depressed than ever.
But there is a way out, If you’re thinking about your crush to the exclusion of all else, here’s what to do.
analyse your motives
Ask yourself some questions. Why do you want to be in love so badly? How come you’re willing to invest so much energy in someone you barely know? This isn’t a real relationship, after all, so why are you settling for second-best?
A crush can turn obsessive when someone wants to be in love badly, but doesn’t have a boyfriend. Loving someone from afar is a safe way to fall in love, because you don’t have to go through arguments, confrontations or rejection.
You’ve convinced yourself that this feeling you have must be love, because you’re experiencing all these emotional highs and lows - but perhaps that’s what you’re really after. You crave the ejphoric “fix” that people get from love. Why? Is ii because all your friends are matched up? Or because you’re scared of entering a real relationship? Try to figure out if you’re in love, or if you just want to be.
do you know what he’s like?
The thing is, you probably don’t know this guy well at all, but you have convinced yourself you do. You watch him every second you can, so you know where he hangs out and with whom, and by observing him you think you’ve got a pretty good idea of what he’s like, You’ve asked all about him, so you’re sure you could write a book about him: you know what sports he plays, what girls he likes, what movies he goes to. So you know him back to front, right?
Wrong. You don’t know a person until you’ve spent time with them - not just a passing “hi”, but meaningful conversations that last for hours on end. And even then, you don’t truly know a person until you’ve seen them in all their moods, and in every situation, Have you seen this guy in a rage? When he’s upset? When he’s jealous?
What you’ve done is dreamed this guy into being someone you want him to be. You see glimpses of him, and your imagination fills in the rest, Deep down, you’re sure he’s as romantic as Jason Priestley and as affectionate as Luke Perry. Realise that you’re in love with a product of your mind, not a real flesh-and-blood guy.
boost your self-esteem
Why hasn’t this relationship gone further? Have you tried and failed? If so, why haven’t you moved on? If you’re watching from the sidelines, convincing yourself that one day you will make that big move, why don’t you do it now? Are you scared he’ll laugh, or be uninterested in you?
Crushes usually develop when someone’s feeling low, and they need to brighten up their lives. To avoid feeling down about yourself, heighten your self-esteem, Surround yourself with people who care about you, like your friends and family, and try building up your own conlidence. You’re worth loving, and if some guy hasn’t realised it yet, it’s his loss.
stop dreaming
Sometimes a guy you’ve got a crush on can develop into actual boyfriend material, if you’re willing to put yourself on the line and act, instead of dreaming. It you like a guy, make moves to win him over: make an effort to talk to and know him, and if you’ve already got a friendship, work up the courage to show him you’re really interested. After all, a crush will always remain a crush if you don’t do anything about it.
keep yourself in check
This relationship can make you utterly miserable if you let it, so don’t allow your crush to take over your lite. It your fantasy guy is becoming a real obsession, recognise what you’re doing, and try to change your behaviour. Look objectively at how you’re acting, and think of how you’d advise your best friend if she was acting in the same way A crush can be harmless, or it can demolish your heart in an instant. That’s why it’s called a crush.
Email This Page
