Cultivating Friendships
• To have a friend, you have to be a friend. It’s not easy sometimes, but it’s like investing in the Bank of Life. The more you put in, the more you get out.
• Friendships may start as an accident, but keeping them in order is a conscious act. Ring, write, fax… Friendships wither without attention.
• Don’t rule anyone out because of age or gender. You can be surprised at the different qualities of friendship which cross the years and the sexes. Men and women can be friends - no matter what Harry said and Sally did.
• Too much honesty is a bad thing. You can get criticism from people who hardly know you or barely like you. You don’t need it from your best friend. Just as you are her private cheer squad and fan club, so she should be yours.
• Be considerate and don’t presume on friendship. Being a good friend means considering the needs of your pals. You are also entitled to that in return.
• Be sensitive: if she starts going out with the jerk of all time, what can you say to her? Nothing, really. If the relationship breaks up, she’ll need you. And if it doesn’t, she will never forgive you for criticising her new husband.
• Don’t be jealous. Give your friend space for other friends. They’re not rivals for affection - they’re all opportunities for new friendships.
It’s Definitely Over When… There’s one unwritten rule among friends: never, ever have an affair with someone your best friend is seeing, married to or in love with. This is the one thing which friendship really cannot endure. What sort of friend would do this? Answer: no friend at all.
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