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I suffer from an oily and itchy scalp put the ends of my hair are dry. I’m currently using an anti-dandruff shampoo daily but it doesn’t seem to have helped much. Is it true you can only use dandruff control shampoos for a limited period of time, after which you have to let your hair rest before you continue using them? Also, does using an oil-based conditioner worsen the problem even if it is applied only to the hair ends and not the scalp?

answer:
You might actually have an infection of the scalp, so do be sure to see a skin specialist to exclude any fungal infections. If you get treated, the general health of the scalp will improve and the problems will cease. You may also have some form of eczema. In fact, the shampoo you are using may just be the cause of your problems in the first place. Try using neutral soaps to wash your hair — conditioners are also chemicals and they may not be good for your hair.

A recent breakout has left behind lots of scars and blemishes on my skin. Are there treatments or ointments, besides Radio Frequency treatments and Intense Pulsed Light (IPL) technology, that I can apply to my skin to lighten the scars or even make them disappear?

answer:
If this is the first time you’re experiencing a breakout and the scarring is minimal, leave it alone and allow the skin to heal. If you have chronic scars, then only dermabrasion, IPL and Laser technology may help. You can try going for chemical peels but the result is generally suboptimal. You may need antibiotics to treat the acne, as scarring usually occurs on infected areas that you tried to squeeze. Also, do try your best not to break the skin in the future.

Recently, I’ve noticed a fishy smell in my vagina and I don’t know what the cause of the smell is. Is it because I have sex often ? Or is it because of what I eat? I first noticed it when I started having sex with my boyfriend and the smell is starting to get unbearable. Should I see a doctor or is there any medicine that I can buy over the counter?

answer:
You might have an infection, as the most common cause of this smell is an organism called Trichomonas. If that is the case, you will need to seek treatment immediately, as it is a sexually transmitted disease. You have to see a doctor to confirm the diagnosis and then get a course of antibiotics. Your sexual partner will also need to be treated, or he may spread it back to you even though you’ve already been treated. Unfortunately, there is no medicine you can get over the counter. In fact, you shouldn’t self-medicate as that may encourage other infections to start too.

Help! Major blooper at work! I was griping to my friend over SMS about how my boss is such a bitch, always so snotty and condescending. By mistake, I sent the SMS to my boss instead of my friend! Of course my boss blew her top and had me suspended for a week. I can take the suspension and I’ve apologized, but I’m wondering whether I should just go ahead and resign. I really don’t feel inspired by my boss. She’s a slave driver and she doesn’t care about the well being of her staff. What do you think?

answer:
Oh, dear. Firstly, if you want to say anything about anyone, never use SMS or email. We’ve all been there. It’s like there’s a devil nudging you to send the message to the wrong person! You say you’ve paid for your mistake so the real issue here is that you aren’t enjoying your job under your boss. You need to ask yourself: Do you actually like your job enough to put up with a bad boss? If not, it’s time to move on. But do keep in mind the nature of bosses — they tend to be slavedrivers because they run the show, you know. So you could just move from one straight to another. The more mature move is to learn how to handle your boss. Be super-helpful so that she doesn’t need to give you a hard time. If you want to be the boss someday, this is a skill you should master now. And hey, with a bit of ego-stroking, believe me, bosses can be the easiest people to win over!

OK, I think I just did something stupid. My ex-boyfriend and I split up over two years ago but last night, I called him on his handphone and told him that I still love him. Blame it on the red wine! I was out clubbing with my two best girlfriends and we had all been drinking quite heavily. Drinking turned to talking about life issues at 4am and I just poured out all of mine. I’ve been so stressed at work, fighting a lot with my parents about getting my own flat and generally bummed about my zero-excitement love life. So in my moment of weakness, I called him. Thing is, while I really do still have feelings for him, he’s been in a steady relationship for the past year. He has clearly moved on! How can I save my pride?

answer:
Oh love, here’s my golden rule when you’re single/just ended a relationship/still not over the last man and you get drunk: Surrender your handphone! Tell your friend that under no circumstances can she let you have it. I once hid a pal’s phone at the bottom of her laundry basket and watched her tear her flat apart before I’d give it up. It sounds to me that you were just a bit low and you went back to the last time you were happy — no biggie, it happens. Just deal with it. You can call him, apologize and explain that you were having a bad day. Or you can just ignore the incident, forget it ever happened and move on. Pride is overrated, honey. My advice would be that if he’s moved on, you should too. After all, chasing a man who has a girlfriend is never cool — even if you were there first.

I really hate how my parents spoil my younger brother. He is already 22 years old, but he has never had a real job! Usually, he spends his day hanging out at the beach or mailing with his buddies. I think he should be a man and learn to take on responsibilities but my parents say there’s no need to rush him and that he’ll find his passion eventually. I’m 25 and I’ve been working since I was 16. He’s a bum! Why can’t my folks see that?

answer:
There are so many families in which this happens and I happen to know of one personally. You probably want to shake your brother and your parents and get them to realize how hard you work — and you don’t get any credit! But here’s the thing to remember: You are not your brother, and he’s not you. He probably thinks he’s happy being a bum but how does it look on a CV? What kind of future is he building for himself? So instead of feeling frustrated about how your parents spoil your brother, feel proud that they don’t need to do so with you. Instead of thinking he’s spoilt, think that it’s a good thing you’re not because you are better equipped to face the future and make something of yourself, Embrace your independence!

My man does whatever I want to do. My choice of restaurant. The movie I want to see. Where I want to holiday. At first I thought this was charming, but now I would like him to be a man and stand up for himself every now and then. How can I tell him to grow a spine?

answer:
Let me get this straight. Your problem is that your man acquiesces to your wishes too easily. Instead of berating him, I’d suggest you hang onto this Prince with both hands. Your mere company is obviously enough to fulfill him — despite your obvious delusions about the true nature of masculinity — and you want to have a go at him about it? Wake up before it’s too late and realize that you have found what millions of women dream of: a partner who favors proximity over activity.