Another woman
My husband decided to move out, leaving me and my children on our own. He told us it was only temporary, but we now know that there is another woman and a new baby. What should I do? I still love him and don’t want to let go. We were married for more than 20 years and I feel such a failure. I really want him to come back to where he belongs - with us.
answer:
A separation can take a minimum of two years to get over. But first you need to clarify whether or not he intends to return. You won’t begin to heal if you continue to believe this separation is temporary when, in fact, it is not. Such an abandonment, while extremely traumatic for you and your children, says much more about your husband than you. If your experience of your marriage was good, then do not disown it. Can you find someone with whom you can share your anger and grief (a friend or counselor)? This is the key to getting on with your life. Joining a therapy group which helps people through separations is often beneficial. It is vital for your children that you maintain your self-respect, and that you don’t blame yourself for what he has done. You can help each child decide to what extent they wish to pursue a relationship with their father. If he stays in contact with the children, you should encourage them to see him, so they don’t get caught feeling disloyal to you.
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