Emotional problems
Identify your EDZ
An Emotional Danger Zone (EDZ) is a situation that triggers a primitive response. Suddenly you forget your good manners and react like a mad person : Yelling, swearing or hitting.
“An emotion is a series of responses that prepare your body and mind for immediate action,” says British psychotherapist Geel Lindenfleld, in her book Emotional Confidence.
She adds, “If one of your senses spots a threat, your brain shuts down the sophisticated part that deals with social interaction. Instead, a signal is sent directly to the primitive emotional part of your brain - it says ‘fight now!’”
But this emotional response can be dangerous because it may be too strong, or inappropriate. “My EDZ is being told what to do, like a child. My parents were very controlling.
Everyone’s EDZ is different. We have our own memories and blueprints of emotional responses. So before you get angry, ask yourself: Are you annoyed at this… or something from the past?
Squash the urge to lose control
Once you step inside an EDZ, you tend to make things worse. One by one, all the positive lights in your head go off - soon, everything is dark.
Psychologist Gael Lindenfield explains, “Bad moods change the way you view the world, and subconsciously, you select people that fit in with your mood.” This is because negative feelings attack your self-confidence, so you start to search for “proof” that you really are as bad as you feel.
To help, try keeping an emotional diary On paper, you can see how you felt when the shop assistant was rude, or when your ex-boss smirked at you at a function. Writing down what sends you into a temper forces you to face up to your danger zones.
Only then can you start to analyse what led you to feel this way. Just doing this can help you feel more in control.
Your route to calm
Now that you’re managing your temperament better, you’ll be able to use your mental stock of alternative responses the next time you find yourself falling into an EDZ.
And peace of mind means you are able to express anger when it’s justified, but also control your bad mood too. Happy people laugh, cry, worry, and lose their temper now and then. But they always know why. And now, you’re one of them too.
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