Bullies keep picking on my kid
Should I get him boxing lessons?
answer:
No, A study of 500 preteen boys in Norway found that those who took up boxing were five times more likely to fight, steal, and skip school than kids in less combative sports. But that doesn’t mean you should tell your kid to turn the other cheek. “Get him martial-arts lessons,” says Larry Koenig, Ph.D., author of Smart Discipline: Fast, Lasting Solutions for Your Child’s Self-Esteem and Your Peace of Mind.
The true power behind martial arts like karate and kung fu comes not from a roundhouse kick to the solar plexus (however handy) but rather from their philosophies of non-aggression. “They teach respect,” says Koenig. “Research shows that, in so doing, martial arts improve a child’s self-esteem and the way he carries himself—two weaknesses a bully homes in on when selecting a target.” In fact, a Florida Atlantic University study of 189 children ages 7 to 13 found that those with high self-confidence were less likely to be picked on than their less confident peers.
If your child does get picked on, address the issue with him immediately, even if it’s just teasing. “Parents often tell their kids that it’s no big deal, that it’s just kids being kids,” says Koenig. “Nothing can be further from the truth. Words can be far more difficult to get over than a black eye.” Researchers at the Oregon Research Institute agree. In a study of 223 kids, they found that verbally harassed middle schoolers were three times more likely to abuse alcohol in high school. Here’s the best way to deal with teasing: Tell your child to just agree with it. If, for example, a bully calls your kid a sissy, tell him to respond, “Yeah, I am.” Next to self-confidence, agreeableness is the most powerful antibully tool. “If you’re not pushing back, they have nothing to fight against,” says Koenig.
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