I loaned my sister money without telling my husband
I loaned my sister quite a bit of money without telling my husband. I figure she’ll pay it back before he notices it’s gone. Now, I’m feeling a tad guilty. Was what I did wrong?
answer:
Well, the truth is, if you know something’s OK, you usually don’t have to ask someone if it’s OK. The fact that you’re asking may not mean that what you did is terribly wrong, but it’s a sure sign that you’re uncomfortable with it. And, perhaps, you’re a little worried that your husband would be ticked off if he knew.
All of those feelings are normal. And maybe the loan wouldn’t even bother your husband (although I wouldn’t bet on it), but that’s not really the point. The problem here is that marriage has rules—and rule number one is honesty. What’s more, since money is one of the top three things couples argue about, being dishonest about money is a big problem. If you have a trust fund that’s yours alone, that’s one thing. But lending a large sum of money from your joint account isn’t cool. Bottom line: You should have discussed the loan with your husband, and you should have considered the risks involved with lending money to family members in the first place (many such loans end up being “permanent” and causing a family rift).
So, now what? Confess all to your hubby, and say you’re sorry. Talk about ways you’ll deal honestly with money issues in the future. Lots of couples have a certain amount of money that they each can do whatever they want with, which gives a certain amount of freedom without hurting the family coffers or the marriage.
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