Things men hate about women
Men hate lipstick,gloss,balm
Truth is, very few men actually like lipstick. It makes you look weird, you don’t taste nice to kiss, and it gets all over our faces and clothes. As for lipgloss, forget about it - nasty, gooey muck that makes anyone who wears it look vaguely porno (fine for your boyfriend, but we don’t want other blokes seeing you!). Then there’s lip balm. My girlfriend is one of the many women I know (rough estimate: 90 percent of the young female population) who appears to have obsessive compulsive disorder when it comes to applying lip balm. Eighteen times a day is not normal.
Okay, if you’re a Norwegian fisherman, you might run the risk of chapped lips if you don’t apply a bit of salve every now and then, but otherwise it’s just plain loony! The ironic thing is, if I had my way, my girlfriend wouldn’t even wear lipstick. Her lips are perfectly plump and kissable without a load of greasy stuff smeared all over them.
Men hate big earrings
Ladies, what are you playing at? Massive drop earrings might be the hottest trend of the month, but I assure you, walking around with a couple of chandeliers dangling from your ear lobes will only make blokes think you’re a nutter. You’re bound to lose one during the evening, meaning muggins here will end up on his hands and knees under tables.
What’s more, big earrings get in the way. We go to nuzzle your neck and get a chipped front tooth. Please - give us an easy pathway by sticking to studs - cool and kissable.
Men hate alice bands
Alice bands should only be worn by poncy, long-haired Italian footballers. Women should avoid them like the plague. On women, Alice bands conjure up images of horsey, floral-wearing types, running the local jumble sale. Or, even worse, middle-aged ladies who still want to look like they’re 13. Creepy. Yeah, we know Sienna wears them, but let her, I say - that’s for someone else to complain about.
Man hate complicated boots
There’s nothing sexier than slim-fitting, leather, knee-high numbers teamed with a nice skirt. This year, however, it seems like all manner of weird, round-toed, and frankly, ugly varieties of boots are creeping onto the shoe shelves. Take those Victorian-looking ones with, like, 25 lace-holes or something stupid.
Sure, if you were a lady of ill-repute in a mid-19th century Wild West brothel, you probably had plenty of free time to spend lacing up your boots. But, if you’re an overworked noughties gal, whose boyfriend happens to be waiting by the gate, cursing the loss of VDT (valuable drinking time), he’ll probably be wishing you’d bought some slip-ons instead. Ladies, stick to zips or pull-ons. Much easier access after a night out!
Men hate obvious make-up
Look at any survey about the type of makeup men like on a woman and you’ll see the same word over and over: Natural. Men would prefer not to know you’re wearing any make-up, at all. We like to imagine all you do before you leave the house is a swish of mascara and bingo - beautiful.
Even if you’ve spent a good half hour carefully crafting your face, we like to imagine you naturally look like that, which is why it has to look, well, natural. And we certainly don’t understand make-up “looks”. When it was all the rage for fashion shoots to employ that “glowing” look, you could see us blokes scratching our heads in the dentist’s waiting room and asking: “How come all the models are so sweaty these days?”
To us, make-up should be something you put on to make yourselves look as pretty as possible, preferably within the space of five minutes. Now, don’t get me wrong, we like it when you make an effort, but the truth is we love it when you look like an enhanced version of you. Boring, aren’t we?
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