How can I get a better handle on the two choice?
I love my family and my job. But sometimes my family and my boss both want more.
How can I get a better handle on the two?
answer:
Start by creating some boundaries. The problem is that boundaries between work and family are so fluid that neither your boss nor your family knows what to expect, says Ellen Galinsky, president of Families and Work Institute, a nonprofit that conducts research on work-life balance. Sure, your boss sees the pictures of your kids and your wife on your desk, but you having a family is an abstract concept to a man who only sees you in a suit and tie. Your wife, for her part, probably thinks it’s crazy that you can’t ever get home by 6:00 to pick up your kids from soccer practice and have dinner as a family. So establish some rules. Maybe it’s that nothing will interfere with watching your daughter’s Saturday soccer game, or that you’ll come home each night to spend time with your family and then return to work once the kids are asleep. “Once your boss and your family know what to expect, no one will be surprised or upset,” says Galinsky. “Just as important, you’ll have worked out a compromise that you’re happy with.”
Of course, there will be times when you’re faced with competing—and seemingly equally important—demands. Your boss might ask you to meet with clients the night of your wife’s charity event, or your daughter’s soccer final might conflict with a board meeting. In those cases, “Ask yourself this: A year from now, what will I wish I had decided?” says Galinsky. The average guy usually sides with work, spending only about a half hour a day taking care of his kids, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Don’t be average. “Explain to your boss that you care very much about your company, but you have a prior engagement that you simply can’t miss,” says Galinksy. If he doesn’t recognize the importance of family, then he’s probably not a leader you want to commit yourself to long-term. But if there is a crisis at work and you simply can’t attend a family event, do your job. You’re a provider, after all, and to keep providing, sometimes you have to make compromises.
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