How to Put Out a Fire Literally
If you check on the lamb chops you’re broiling and they’ve burst Into flames. Close the door to the oven immediately and turn it off.
If you’re lighting candles and your sleeve catches fire. What you learned in third grade still holds. Stop. Drop. And roll: You want to take the oxygen away from the fire, so you never want to wave your clothes around.
If you’re cooking Thanksgiving dinner for your entire extended
family and a small grease fire breaks out. Put a lid on the pan. Never put water on it; it will splatter and spread. Don’t lift the lid or the oxygen will start the fire up again. If you’re discreet and the stuffing’s good, no one will notice.
If your husband’s cooking Thanksgiving dinner and a large grease fire breaks out. Grab the Dry Chemical ABC fire extinguisher you bought immediately after reading this article. Remove the plastic tie from the handle, pull the pin out, and, aiming the nozzle at the base of the fire (but keeping the extinguisher upright), squeeze the handle. The fire-eating stuff should come out. Sweep the extinguisher from side to side until the fire is completely out.
If this doesn’t work, back out of the room, direct your guests to the nearest exit, get the hell out, and call 911. Then take everyone out for burgers.
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