10 Ways to Resolve Arguments
DON’T APPORTION BLAME. It’s unlikely to be 100 percent the other person’s fault, so acknowledge your part in it and explain how the other person’s actions have made you feel.
BE AN ADULT. Don’t whine like a child or become stubborn. And don’t be condescending or cruel. You’ll only weaken your own position.
DON’T SET OUT TO WIN. If you’re a couple, you’re meant to be a team- it’s not about scoring points.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE OTHER PERSON’S POINT OF VIEW. Put yourself in their shoes and let them know that you are trying to empathize with them.
STICK TO THE ISSUE IN QUESTION. Don’t bring up everything that’s been irritating you over the past few months. Find a separate time to discuss other grievances.
LISTEN TO THE OTHER PERSON. Don’t talk or shout over them - it takes two to argue, so give the other person a chance to speak then take what they’re saying on board.
KNOW WHEN AN ARGUMENTS OVER. Don’t keep it going for hours when every thing’s been said. Cool down for a couple of days and you’ll probably find it’s all resolved.
DON’T SHOUT. All the person will hear is noise and they won’t really listen to what you’re saying. You also become much less articulate when you’re shouting.
DON’T ARGUE FOR THE SAKE OF IT. If you’ve had a bad day at work or are having a trying time, with the children, don’t take it out on your partner. Tell him calmly how you’re feeling instead of arguing about who forgot to put the bins out.
TRY TO LAUGH. Humor can defuse almost every situation - but not when the other person is pouring their heart out. Choose your moment to lighten things up.
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Apr 2nd 2008 at 1:22 pm
[…] So the slightest distraction, for example, a loud noise, will immediately snap him out of that mental zone, sending him straight back to square […]