What can I do to make him feel more included?

There’s only one guy in our office of 10 women. He is lovely and a really big part of the team, but sometimes I feel bad that he seems left out of all the girlie goings-on. What can I do to make him feel more included?

answer:
You’ve got a whole set of assumptions going on that could lead to 10 times the awkardness you feel there is now. For a start, what makes you think he wants to be one of the girls? Chances are, it’s the last thing on his priority list. How do I know this? Having been the lone chap in a corporate environment, there are many advantages that being included in the female sorority would negate. First of all, you get — there’s no other word for it — mothered a bit. What’s not to love? Second, by sharing their man troubles with you, your colleagues alert you to the mistakes you could be making as a partner. Finally, there’s a whole lot of innocent flirting that goes on, which he probably digs on. In other words, he may well be perfectly happy with the status quo.

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