Choose to remain celibate till I marry
I’ve been divorced for years and choose to remain celibate till I next marry. The problem is I have strong sexual feelings but a hard time controlling them. I take cold baths every night. I fear I’ll end up having sex with just any guy! I controlled my urges in the past with fantasies. But a friend suggested I try masturbation. What am I suppose to do and how can this help?
answer:
Making choices may sometimes be easy but living by them may prove difficult with the conflicts that present themselves over time. You were sexually active in the past. There is nothing wrong with that and it’s unfair to deny yourself the memory and physical passion of it. Don’t feel guilty if you wish you had “some action” now. The serious consequence of not understanding it and dealing with it, is that you may do things that could seriously affect your life forever - both physically and psychologically. It will be interesting to analyse how you indulge in fantasies. That is not a wrong thing if it is legal and not at the expense of somebody else. Many have religious and cultural problems with the concept of masturbation. There is physically nothing wrong with it and it is therapeutic for many people who practise it provided they use the proper techniques. If you decide to try it, take time to realise how you feel and how it affects you. It is best to discuss this with a trained therapist.
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