Always blushing

I’m in tenth grade, and when I talk to some guys, I suddenly blush. I also blush if a teacher calls on me or a lot of people are looking at me. I’ve never had this problem before, and because of it I don’t raise my hand as much or talk to as many guys. My mom says guys don’t even notice if a girl is blushing, but I do, and it’s totally embarrassing. How can I stop it?

Answer:
You probably can’t—not immediately, anyway—since blushing is an involuntary reaction caused by feelings that may take a while for you to learn how to control. Blushing occurs when tiny blood vessels near the skin’s surface dilate in response to a strong emotion—embarrassment, self-consciousness, nervousness, guilt. … I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. And tenth grade—a time when you’re changing physically, emotionally, and sexually—is prime time to feel those things.

Blushing isn’t all bad, really. Most people tend to look at themselves more critically than others do, to take the tiniest flaws and magnify them. If others do notice when you blush, they’re at least as likely to find it attractive as they are to think it’s weird or embarrassing. Guys may even think blushing is cute, sexy, or beautiful. Try asking a guy friend about it; his answer might surprise you. Besides, blushing is endearing. It shows that you’re a real person with real feelings. And keep in mind that lots of girls buy blush to get the effect that you get naturally.

Here’s more news: Your blushing will lighten up as you start to feel less stressed in the situations you mentioned. That’ll come with time, experience, and maturities things, your best move now is to relax and try not to hate blushing so much. Freaking out about it only makes it worse; you end up more frustrated and nervous, two emotions that can make a blush spread like wildfire. And if you let fear of blushing keep you from talking to guys or raising your hand in class, those situations will only be more stressful next time. Plus, if people sense that you’re weirded out about blushing, they’re likely to pay more attention to it.

So try this: When you start to blush, make a little joke. This’ll be tough, so try it among friends at first. Say something like “Check it out, I’m the Beet Queen,” or “So am I totally red now, or what?” At least then you don’t have to worry about whether or not other people are noticing what’s happening, which should make the whole thing less embarrassing. If you can laugh about it with your friends for a second or two, you’ll ease your stress and be less likely to turn red. There’s no guarantee that your blushing will stop once and for all, but when you—and others—get more comfortable with it, you won’t freeze up in social situations just because you’re a little red in the face.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 24th, 2007 at 1:17 pm and is filed under Relationship. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.