I want to have a happy family again, but she’s making it impossible
I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The problem is, my brother’s wife had a miscarriage last year, and since then, she has been unable to conceive. At family gatherings, when everyone’s fussing over four-month-old Nicki, my sister-in-law goes into another room and reads a book. Most of the time, she refuses to talk to me, and she’s never even held her little niece. I also think she’s trying to come between me and my brother. All I want is to have a happy family again, but she’s making it impossible. What should I do?
Answer:
Losing a baby can be one of the most traumatic experiences in a young woman’s life. Every time your sister-in-law sees you, she seems to be reminded of her pain. As family members ooh and ah over precious little Nicki, she feels cheated and probably leaves the room to avoid crying. What should you do? Sort out your own feelings, make sure they’re not tainted by even the slightest hint of superiority. When you see her, be considerate, talk about things other than labor pains, the joys of motherhood, and cloth versus disposable diapers. Also, investigate local support groups for women who’ve miscarried or are having fertility problems. Then pass the information on to your brother, who can, in turn, pass it on to his wife. Most important, treat her with compassion and love; apparently, she’s still grieving.
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