He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
My boyfriend told me he loves me, but that I’m not “the one.” I don’t want to get married, anyway. Should I stick around?
Answer:
Just out of curiosity, if neither of you craves marriage, how did the subject arise? The fact that the discussion even occurred makes me suspect you do want to get married—maybe not immediately, but one day. As for right now: is this a productive, happy relationship? Productive and happy enough to let you put nuptial concerns aside? I personally don’t believe any relationship can be a waste of time; each romantic experience is a valuable step toward the next. But if this new information has skewed your love dynamic, then marriage is an issue for you—perhaps more than you’d like to admit—and you might want to find a guy who’s on the same page. While his statement isn’t necessarily a relationship buster, it does indicate limits on his emotional investment. Don’t forget, however, that while changing one’s mind is a woman’s prerogative, men are allowed to do it, too. Isn’t equal opportunity the best?
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