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Fishy Seafood

Beware: Bad fish or seafood could result in acute gastroenteritis or infection by Vibrio vulnificus, the leading cause of seafood-related death.

Be safe: Buy fish that’s refrigerated or displayed on ice. Press the flesh—it should spring back. Ice crystals in packaging could mean it’s old or has been thawed and refrozen. Store in the coldest part of your refrigerator (e.g., the meat bin). Defrost in the fridge until pliable, but still a bit icy. Toss cracked or dead shellfish. (Tap on the shells; live ones will close. If they’re already shut, cook them, but discard any that don’t open after cooking.) Wash hands with antibacterial soap and hot water before and after handling, Cook fish until the flesh is opaque and it flakes with a fork. “Done” shrimp and lobster have red shells and white flesh. Clams, oysters and mussels are finished cooking three to five minutes after shells open. Eat raw-bar shellfish at your own risk.

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Can you tell me about new, interesting sex toys that my boyfriend and I can try?

Answer:
For starters, you could pick up Sensual Source’s Hands-Free Remote Control Vibrator. It’s about five inches and combines two male faves: gadgets and sex. Insert, put on your clothes and go to the mall with your guy. He can flick your switch from up to 60 feet. This may prove more comic than erotic. But if you can’t laugh at sex toys, what fun is that? If you’d like to get really ‘View” and “interesting,” explore some uncharted territory. Yes, I’m referring to anal stimulators. Gene Rohrer, cofounder of the Sensual Source Web site, says, “We get lots of special requests in this area.” The anus is loaded with nerve endings, which, when stimulated, can send some women through the roof. Rohrer recommends the Ultra Triple Stimulator, a ring-shaped object that fits over the erection. On top of the ring is a vibrating egg for your clitoris and his penis; on the bottom is a curved length of plastic that slides into your anus during regular intercourse. Some vibrate. Some sit still. Some roll over. None will put you to sleep.

I usually have to urinate right after an orgasm. Is this normal ?

Answer:
lt’s probably very normal, according to Richard U. Levine, M.D., vice chairman of the obstetrics and gynecology department of Columbia-Presbyterian Medical Center in New York City. “Sex can stimulate a nerve reflex, which triggers the need to void.” To avoid this reflex, “increase the amount of fluids you drink that day,” advises Dr. Levine, “and urinate beforehand.”

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My fiance and I have had sex before, but now he wants to wait until we’re married to do it again. This seems unfair. How should I handle it?

Answer:
Assuming he’s not on some purity kick (no sex allowed, of any kind—in which case, get it in writing that he doesn’t think “Sex is bad” before you walk down the aisle), I’m not sure why you’re complaining. Intercourse is a nice capper, as it were, but there’s a huge realm of activities to savor in its absence. This gives you the opportunity to role-play the parts of Lusty President and Busty Intern. You can have tons of oral sex—and probably more orgasms—by adhering to your betrothed’s mandate. You can grope and make out and have fore-play until the cows cry uncle. I’d skip intercourse for a month if it meant sensual massages and languorous tongue baths instead. What else should you do? Nothing, and be glad about it. Say, “You’re right. Let’s forget intercourse until we’re married. And now strip and give me twenty lashes with a wet noodle.” You can fill in the wet noodle part with whatever it is you’d prefer.

My sex life is fine, but I can’t seem to sleep in the same bed with my new boyfriend—I roll around all night. What’s wrong with me?

Answer:
This often happens to completely healthy people. Your adrenaline is being fired up by excitement and anxiety. Early on in relationships, it’s difficult to wind down and let your sleep systems take over. The cure is time. As the relationship progresses and you get used to each other and your routines (sex now, sleep later), your body will adjust. Or you might find that your new partner cuts into your space—literally. If you’re trying to cuddle up on a twin or a double, might I suggest getting a bigger bed?

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My supposed best friend told my boyfriend I was cheating on him. I was, but was that right?

Answer:
Let me get this straight: She’s your best friend, right? Not your friend and also your boyfriend’s friend? Because the only justification for being little Miss Squawking Chickadee is that her loyalties were divided between you two.

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Help! How should I tell my friend that she has bad breath?

Answer:
Turn her problem into your problem. Say, “God, my breath sometimes smells like a herd of buffaloes has been stampeding through my mouth. That ever happen to you?” Then, mention an article you read about bad breath: 90 percent of cases come from bacteria on the back of your tongue and all you need is to brush it twice a day. (A tiny proportion of cases come from serious illnesses, like digestive disorders, but this is rare. You needn’t scare your friend to death.)

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