Female things that drive man mad
1.Saying, “I don’t know — what do you want to do?”
2.Saying, “Well, of course you wouldn’t understand, would you?”
3.Saying, “I don’t see why that little scooter won’t get you through the traffic just as fast as a great big bike.”
4.Complaining about the way he gets the wax out of his ears.
5.Using his last blade to shave her legs.
6.Not thinking it important to learn how to change a tire or switch off water at the mains.
7.Saying, “Well, you can watch the last episode when they repeat the series, can’t you?”
8.Always wanting to see the one film that he doesn’t want to see.
9.Saying, “The last thing I want is a steady relationship,” and not meaning it.
10.Saying halfway through a board game, “Well, you’re obviously going to win so we might as well stop now.”
11.Wearing sexy panties for special occasions only and not understanding that the time you’d most like to see it is, unexpectedly, midweek.
12.Telling him, after he’s tried to make her feel better about some problem, that what she needs is sympathy, not helpful suggestions.
13.Reading an article on testosterone and still not understanding why he wants to race at the lights.
14.Assuming that certain jobs around the house are automatically his, but not considering them when she complains, “Well, just tell me when was the last time you cleaned the toilet or bathed the baby?”
15.Suggesting that their first row for a month is an indication that “we really need to sit down and talk to each other” in order to save the marriage.
16.Saying with a sigh, “For goodness sake, give it here! I’ll do it…” three seconds into whatever domestic act he’s attempting to carry out.
17.Saying in a restaurant, “Shall I have the salmon or the chicken?” as if he might know the answer.
18.Comparing his domestic habits with those of men he knows she detests.
19.Not understanding that if he were in any state to phone and say what time he’d be home, he would have been home hours ago.
20.Staying mad just because two days ago he mentioned her thickening waist.
21.Thinking there’s a satisfactory answer to the question, “Are you sure it doesn’t make me look too fat?”
22.Spending half a day on the women’s floor of a department store saying, “Mmmm, I don’t know. I’ll just try on the brown one again,” then grimacing when he says he wants to pop into the men’s section to buy a shirt on the way out.
23.Never being able to accept a compliment without asking for more precise details.
24.Any mention of domestic life to his mates is treachery, whereas she can regale her friends with his habits.
25.Keeping her old love letters where he can get at them.
26.Making friends with his ex-girlfriends.
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Jan 26th 2008 at 1:24 pm
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Jul 31st 2008 at 2:03 am
Too funny, and perplexing as to why it is so true. Must be something in the chomasomes. As they say, “women are from venus, and men are from mars”.