How to have a better relationship
Become a good listener.
You may find your partner doesn’t talk to you much because you are not listening. Men in particular have atendency to want to sortout problems for their partners and come up with an instant solution.
The best advice is to hold back. Most people who want to talk things through have the answer themselves and just want someone to listen. Don’t challenge them and don’t interrupt.”
Avoid bad habits. Just talking to each other is a more complicated process than you’d imagine. Here are a few bad habits that can be barriers to an open and frank exchange of views:
• Not saying what you really mean. For example, stating you’re happy for your partner’s mother to come and stay for six months when secretly you’re already reaching for your passport.
• Always changing the subject.
• Grumbling about something minor instead of tackling the real problem.
• Nagging, which is essentially telling someone how to behave rather than explaining how you feel.
• Being a know-all.
• The way you say things. Sarcasm and patronising comments are particularly unhelpful.
• Disguised criticism. By saying, “You make me miserable,” you’re holding the other person responsible for your feelings.
Men, start scrubbing! Find the crunch points in your week when there’s most to do — if you’re both working it’s most likely the time when you come home — and work out how to share the tasks.
Women are often bad at asking for help, so make sure you are both honest about your needs. It can be hard for men because women say they want them to do more, then have difficulty giving up the territory. Many women really aren’t sure they want to find their husband at the ironing board when they come home.
Keep some tricks up your sleeve.
Try to keep an element of change in your sex life. Initiate sex in a different way — use the other side of the bed, wear something different. It is also important to preserve an island of time with each other.People who work may find that long hours and bringing work home can eat into time together. And without time together, nothing is going to happen in the bedroom.
Take the pressure off. If you’re having a sexual fallow period, there’s no need to panic if everything else is all right. Be as comfortable when you’re not sexually active as when you are. Be happy when you’ve had a fantastic night of sex — it won’t happen every night.
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